hey, it's totally cool, nowhere is there rulebook of life that says having a relationship is a must. (If there is, I'd demand someone to show it to me cuz that's a load of crap)

I guess what I wanna say is, you're fine the way you are. If you don't feel like pursuing a relationship that's fine. If you do, go for it. A lot of times getting knocked down is for the best, you'll just come back 10 times stronger.

If it's any consolation at all, I know where you come from. I've never been in a relationship of any physical form (I doubt I'd want to). I just would want a significant other who would be there for me friend-wise.

Any way, if you ever wanna talk, you can text or call me (even if it's just about random junk, I'll listen, I get bored around here anyways) XP

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"There are leaders, then there are followers. Then there are those
who follow their own lead. We call these people outcasts.
I follow my own lead; I am an outcast." - さら あむばれく

Srry if I rant here bt most often I solve my problems by looking at what others have done in the situations they've been in so I hope this helps--

Personally I've been really racking my brain on this sort of thing cause I'm fine alone, I don't go looking for a significant other, I don't have time or maybe I don't want to make time for a love life/other because I'm wrapped up in my own hobbies, life and all it's crap. Maybe I can't take the problems of another person on my back maybe I don't see much point in sharing my'n to burden. Maybe I have no interest, or it's just good in theory to have someone else there but the idea of putting up with some one else isn't. I'm not intimate or at least haven't been in the longest time and really just push away the whole factor.

I have to say anyone I've ever turned down I knew hands down wasn't the one for me but I feel bad because I'm one who will do anything to not have some one upset with me, I like to be accepted and liked. Heck, I'll face it allot of the time I'm just being nice to be accepted in someone's eyes, so maybe I'm not even the nice person everyone been attracted to, maybe I'm just selfish. I'm even excited to talk about myself but am easily distracted when someone else begins to talks about themselves.

I look at my self and stand tall in confidence on my own, Yet I am awkward about the idea that I have to make the decision picking that 'one true other' who shadow will be cast beside my'n, in the fact that how should I know? maybe it's too big of a decision for me to make right now and maybe I'm not yet to a point where I even want that, allot of the time when I have been faced with a relationship/turning someone down I really just don't know what to do! Are we still friends? Should I hate them for being so stupid? Do I get angry with those I reject so I push them away? Will it hurt if I'm too casual w/ them with my "yeah, thanks but no thanks" attitude? or Now that we're together what do we do? All couples are different, so what will this be like? Will it work out? What Do I Say?! and If I was so sure the first time how can I be so sure now even though I know I am a more mature person and probably could handle it allot better? What if I screw up? What if I'm stupid get so caught up in the idea and end up only disappointing hurting myself in the end? Maybe I Know what I want in theory but in realistic terms it's highly unlikely and what I want can't be found whole but only in bits and parts of a person
.
Being broken up with was one of the best thing some one could have done for me, it was a big wake up call and made me realize allot of things about myself afterwords as well my "x" is now one of my best friends that I see about every other week.
But if I ever end up in a new "relationship" unlike my last I will be more mature and not gaga over the idea of being part of a couple, I'm in no way suppose make myself to be the damsel in the relationship, or to conform to the other, the whole mind set about what I thought a relationship was suppose to be was well deformed. Not to mention I hopped into it cause I heard that some one told someone that told him I liked him and asked on the spot if we were going out, I use to be very awkward.

Now I would brush it a side continue as I always do relationship or not but want to have a best friend kind of relationship to found the start of, as put: a friend I could confide in and gradually explore my boundaries with. aka the kind of thing you wouldn't feel comfortable doing with just any of your friends, and only with that person. There's a fine line between love and caring while they go hand in hand you love your friends you care about the one you love but they're separate things

I've decided that doing what feels right is the best way to handle things and if you don't think/feel doing something(such as going out with someone/anyone) is good or even the greatest thing at the time step back and say do I really want/need this? Right now I'm in no need to go looking for anyone and there's nothing wrong with never having "someone", if I'm ok with having me, my family and friends right now then let it be. Let my heart and mind be open but don't force myself to like someone or have a relationship, all I can do is enjoy life no matter what's on my plate, ya know?

srry for the rant again but hope it helped like I said I've been racking my brain allot on this, so writing it down was some thought processing for me.

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住む力

honestly that didn't really help a whole not. it never helps me to hear others' opinions on similar issues, really, because they are not me and cannot possibly grasp the concept of what i am going through, through my eyes. and it actually offends me when people try to solve my problems by presenting their own methods. i take suggestions, sure; that's different. but when people go off on tangents about their own issues when i present mine, it feels as though my problems are insignificant (they probably are anyway, but that's beside the point) or not worth talking about.

i mean, i can see where you're coming from. it's good to know your side of the story, and i must say that your standpoint is rather interesting.

still, this...doesn't really help me. D:

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i don't like getting my hands wet

I see where your comming from (With the physicality in relationships). Although mine is more a fear of giving people the power to hurt me (I think) Otherwise I have always been terrified of anything outside of hugs, with no real explaination as to why. So I know its not exactly what you must be feeling but you need somebody to talk to about that kinda stuff I'm always here ^^

Ah, yeah just trying in means I know how. Can't say I have any answers though, just ideas to present. Best to say something when there's allot to be said, than not at all I suppose. Srry I couldn't help.

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住む力

oh, i understand and i'm sorry i kinda bitched you out. xD; i didn't really mean that.

thanks for trying to help though. it was very kind of you and i appreciate the sentiment.

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i don't like getting my hands wet

it's ok, thanks :3

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住む力

I'll see if there is any solutions-based research on the matter, and get back to you if I find any.

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all hail the integrated data entity

[link] is the only source thus far, seems useful. Others seem to be scam sites selling brainwave BS.

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all hail the integrated data entity